


an act of god

by Hydra_Trash_Gal



Series: Tumblr Fics [6]
Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Past Brainwashing, low calorie angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-26
Updated: 2019-01-26
Packaged: 2019-10-17 06:19:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 588
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17554997
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hydra_Trash_Gal/pseuds/Hydra_Trash_Gal
Summary: Sam gets some not-so-good news from his insurance company. Bucky is pleased.





	an act of god

"A super soldier assassin, Mr. Wilson?" Grace cannot find anything that she could possibly file it under.

"Right."

"So the windshield was shattered and the steering wheel — "

"Column." Sam corrects. His head hurts, he's been in the uncomfortable polyester chair for two hours now rehashing a day he is working to forget. "The entire steering wheel column."

"Right," Grace is relieved and horrified when the district manager emails her back on the matter. "It appears that super-soldier damage is not covered under your policy."

Sam looks as if he's bitten a lemon. "Well I'd have to admit to be shocked if it is. But this is a special case."

Sam gets a nice check from Shield but he doesn't feel this should be his loss. "Exactly Mr. Wilson. Unfortunately the company will not be able to pay for a replacement and it seems the company is no longer able to insure you in the future. Liability for future super-soldier damage, you see — but we thank you for your business."

"Hold on a second — Super Soldier damage is why you're dropping me?"

"Well for the sake of paperwork we'll the denial under 'acts of God' and refusal of coverage under Miscellaneous. We hope you have a good day."

Bucky is lurking as he always is when Sam gets out of the cab at Steve's place. It is the absolute last place he wants to be but he imagines Steve needs some sane company and he made the promise last week.

Steve makes them coffee and asks Bucky if he wants any. Bucky blinks and shakes his head no once and asks Sam where his wings are once he places him. Sam considers saying 'what wings?' just to fuck with him but while he's bitter about his car, he's not an asshole. "Didn't bring them." He says shortly.

He pours over the paperwork as Steve sets down the mug and a glass of water for Bucky that is eyed warily until Steve sighs quietly and takes a swallow. Sam feels even worse for being angry as Bucky's body goes lax with relief that he isn't being poisoned and he sits, gulping it down like it's the last bit he'll get. "What's that?" Steve asks obviously still distracted by Bucky who sets down the empty cup and directs a thousand yard stare at Sam. 

"Uh, insurance stuff. For the car." Steve winces and Sam smiles grimly as he adds, "Not covered and they dropped me."

Indignant, just as expected, Steve exhales heavily. "They can't do that. It's not fair. I'll — "

"Nah, screw them. I'll just get a different one. The one with that furry little Bundle-Gremlin-Thing. Maybe James here will keep it in one piece?"

Bucky's steely eyes settle on Sam and he seems offended. "Acceptable collateral." He says, the cocky son of bitch.

Sam bites his tongue toward Bucky and focuses back on Steve. "And get this, Rogers — they're calling it an 'act of god'."

Bucky's body tenses and Sam's breath catches. The metal hand flies out and he grabs the paperwork. "Bucky no," Steve tries to reach for it back but Bucky hunches over it. 

"My name is James Buchanan Barnes and I am a God," He looks up and looks so damn pleased it also makes the loss worth it. Almost. "I need to tell your other God friend, Steve. Can you call him? I could pick up the hammer I bet."

Sam bites back a smile and Steve looks torn between heartbroken and amused. "Maybe later Buck."

**Author's Note:**

> Please tell me someone else remembers the triple play bundle creature from Fairpoint? I wanted one of those things so bad. 
> 
> if you enjoyed this please let me know and thank you so much for reading!


End file.
